Cheryl 'Screw You (feat. Wretch 32)' & 'Craziest Things (feat. will.i.am)'

Hot on the heels of the news that her latest release is on track to become the fastest selling single of the year (by a considerable amount), the artist formerly known as Cheryl Cole has premiered two songs off her third studio album A Million Lights, 'Screw You (feat. Wretch 32)' and 'Craziest Things' featuring her manager and lapdog will.i.am.  I would like to get this out of the way before I start; Cheryl Cole really, really infuriates me.  She is beautiful, she has a decent voice, as one fifth of the greatest British girl group of all time she clearly knows a good pop song when she hears one, she's a captivating performer and has more than enough of her labels attention and resources to ensure that she surrounds herself with the best producers and writers that she possibly can.  And yet, two albums into her solo career and she has barely enough solid material to put on an EP.  Debut effort 3 Words sounded oddly dated and managed to be completely void of any personality but somehow managed to sell well (no doubt off the back of the charming lead single 'Fight For This Love'), and the less said about the dismal Messy Little Raindrops the better.


Still, I find Cheryl to be far too charming and full of potential to ever write her off completely.  When she announced her new album and single, I wasn't expecting anything special at all (except for a few pretty photo-shoots, I really can't stress how beautiful she is).  To my surprise 'Call My Name' has become one of the most played songs on my iPod and her 'live' performances of it have slayed me entirely (that swan dive), and the two newest songs she's released are already head and shoulders above the material on her second album.  'Screw You' plays out like a much cooler version of Madonna's 'I Don't Give A'; a cool, calm and collected middle finger to a past lover who mistreated her.  Yes, it's a bit on the nose lyrically but I find that Cheryl's music tends to pack more of a punch when the link to her personal life is glaringly obvious ('Fight For This Love', 'Parachute' and 'Promise This' come to mind).  She may not write the lyrics, but she knows what assumptions people are going to make and plays up to them, and that's part of what makes her such a great pop star.  Her vocal delivery on 'Screw You' calls to mind the moment on Girls Aloud's Tangled Up tour when she burst into Kelis' 'Trick Me' and the end of 'Control Of The Knife', and as that is my favourite Cheryl moment of all time, I can't really pay this song a much higher compliment.

4/5

Now for the will.i.am offering, 'Craziest Things'.  Admittedly it's not as exciting as 'Screw You', but as far as other will.i.am assisted songs go, this sounds much better than I was expecting.  Part of the reason I had such a problem with Cheryl's debut album was the fact that the will.i.am produced songs sounded like demos he was preparing for other artists - 'Craziest Things' sounds like he had no one else in mind when he was putting it together, and it's precisely the kind of chilled out song that Cheryl shines on (or would have shone on, if will had spent more time making these songs instead of boredom inducing '3 Words' style numbers).  

3/5

So, if I can somehow make sure that my copy of A Million Lights is missing the truly abominable 'Love Killer', I may actually find myself getting pretty excited for Cheryl's latest release, mainly because I really would like to see her create a piece of work that actually reflects what a great pop star she is.  That and the sooner this album is out and promoted, the sooner Cheryl can take her rightful place with Sarah, Kimberly, Nicola and Nadine and make my life complete again.