Let's call a spade a spade. MDNA was not the album most of us wanted. What was supposed to be a declaration of her unwavering rule as Queen of Pop ended up being Madonna's cry for help after being left at the back of the class. When Girl Gone Wild first came out, I was thoroughly disappointed. Months later, I've come to appreciate it as one of the only moments on the album where Madonna sounds at home. Even when she's clearly not trying, she still manages to pull it out of the hat. She also gets props for the extremely sexy video.
19. Enough Said - Aaliyah (feat. Drake)
When I first heard news of a posthumous Aaliyah album, I was ecstatic. More music from a phenomenal artist taken far too soon. When I first heard Drake was going to be heavily involved, I was crestfallen. Drake never even met the woman, what would he know about creating an album for her? When I finally heard Enough Said, I was once again prepared for the album. Those haunting vocals were a clear reminder that it wouldn't matter who was involved, Aaliyah's talent would ultimately reign supreme. Now, if we can just keep the whining from Drake at a minimum, I think we're all ready for that album now.
18. Pound The Alarm - Nicki Minaj
This is the first of two Minaj tracks on my countdown. 2012 was a year in which Nicki proved that it wasn't necessary to be likeable in order to create brilliant pop music. Starships, Pound The Alarm and the I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS WASN'T A FUCKING SINGLE Whip It paved the way for Nicki to take over every radio station and gay bar in the world. That speed bump known as The Re-Up may have put this plan on the back burner for now, but the pop tracks on Roman Reloaded are my proof that she still has it in her to become the next huge pop star. After all, if she's good enough for Britney...
17. I Knew You Were Trouble - Taylor Swift
SHE'S OFFICIALLY A POP STAR NOW!
(I was going to put the video of Selena Gomez's dance to this here instead, but I decided against it. However, any fellow hair-flip porn enthusiasts like myself should seek the video out immediately.)
16. Do It Like That (Fred Falke remix) - Ricki Lee
Imagine, if you will, a half an hour sex session. It's pleasant. You both enjoy yourself and fall asleep in a light embrace. This experience is the single version of Do It Like That. Now imagine sex that is so good you have to take a few hours afterwards to try and remember your name and where you are. This experience is the Fred Falke remix of Do It Like That. Seriously. It's that good.
15. Where Have You Been - Rihanna
It stills baffles me that this song wasn't number one in every country this Summer. I mean, Rihanna even danced in the video! Well... did some sort of vagina boxing thing, but regardless, if she was willing to assault her own pubic region in order to give us a good video, we should've rewarded her by making this single the biggest one she's ever had. Shame on us. Shame on all of us.
14. Under The Sun - Cheryl
I've said it before and I'll say it again - I am not a fan of Cheryl's solo career. For the most part, her albums have been little more than a slap in the face to her loyal fan base. But when A Million Lights got it right, it got it really fucking right. Case in point, number 14 on this countdown. Under The Sun didn't sound like any other Cheryl song we'd ever heard, or like anything else on the radio. Which probably explains why it didn't exactly set the charts alight. It was a rare thing, a song in which Cheryl didn't sound like she was trying very hard. It's also much better than Call My Name. It's true. Face it everyone. Special mention must go out to the part in the middle 8 where Cheryl demands we all go down on her, as it is hilarious and not at all as subtle as the producers probably thought it was.
13. Livin' It Up - Ciara
I'm not sure this was actually a single anywhere in the world. Not that it matters, Ciara singles are about as relevant as Lauren Conrad novels these says, but this song was a ridiculously catchy reminder that she was still alive and able to give us a bouncy pop tune.
12. Troublemaker - Olly Murs (feat. Flo Rida)
It's everyone's favourite cheeky chappy Olly Murs being cheeky in a video in which he cheekily flirts with a girl he hopes will one day call him HER cheeky chappy. He's so cheeky. Seriously though, a song with both Olly Murs and Flo Rida should have caused the universe to explode in one douche-tastic explosion. And yet, we're still here. You wanna know why? Because this song is very fun.
11. Die Young - Ke$ha
Ke$ha may have suffered from a bad case of the Born-This-Ways when she was hyping up her big comeback single, but Die Young is still quite a good song. It's not exactly a world away from her debut album, but Animal was a brilliant album so all complaints of this nature are null and void.
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